Oh my. I suddenly started to miss this place. I feel the need to retreat to Blogger again for more private entries, as opposed to Tumblr (where I mostly just share interesting tidbits). I'm also often too tired to write in my personal journal by the end of the day (more on that later).
The semester overall has been good to me. It had its ups and downs though. I went through numerous breaks with JW. I felt stupid for scoring B+'s to A-'s on my physics tests and only managing an 89.4 in the lab. I felt angry for scoring a C on one of the exams and had to do really well on the last exam and the final exam. I felt relieved that, against all odds, I did and got an A. I felt like a wreck for having developed a small dependency on Adderall the last half of the semester and for finals. I felt helpless because however much I tried to help my brother, nothing was working. I felt everything come off my shoulders when the final grades rolled in and I saw everything I worked for.
So it's summer vacation 2010. I've been studying for the DAT, which I take July 15 at 8:30 AM. I read roughly 3 chapters per subject per day per book, totaling ~15 to 18 chapters in one sitting. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but it's tiring just to read and it takes ~8 - 12 hours a day! I feel like a complete shut-in because I've only left my room three times all summer. I go for days without uttering a single word and it feels so alien when I actually do talk.
I also feel like I'm retaining nothing from General Chem. It's frustrating because I knew the material well when I took the course and now I can't do it anymore. It's like, I've lost my G-Chem mojo.
I'm also nervous because I have yet to take diagnostics since I'm just reading to highlight what's important. I haven't mastered anything yet.
Even though I tell myself to take it one day at a time, I can't keep taking it one day at a time forever (I only have 43 days left!). I feel like I'm really racing against time now.
Super massive update time! @ Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Smorgasboard @ Friday, March 19, 2010
I feel a smorgasboard of mixed feelings lately. It's like every emotion that exists is up for grabs at some sick, twisted metaphoric buffet table. There isn't one but many.
Anxious. Nervous. Achy. Exhausted. Nostalgic. Insecure. Doubtful.
Everything.
Every test I take, all I can ask is, "What's the point? This test gets factored into a percentage, which gets factored into a course grade, which gets submitted into a computer system, which goes under a transcript, which can affect the future."
I cannot stand it when professors say that a low test grade isn't the end of the world but to me, it can be. Too many and it can be the end of a hopeful future. Sometimes I wish I can point out to the professor that it's not the end of the world because it's not your world anymore.
I talked briefly to Jason trying to put my finger on what exactly I was feeling. He offered the word, "jaded." Bulls-eye. I am jaded.
Sometimes I wish I can cry and purge every emotion, good or bad, out. Instead, I tell myself to suck it up. I remind myself that I'm 21 and should be able to take care of myself.
So life is hard. Who knew?
Anxious. Nervous. Achy. Exhausted. Nostalgic. Insecure. Doubtful.
Everything.
Every test I take, all I can ask is, "What's the point? This test gets factored into a percentage, which gets factored into a course grade, which gets submitted into a computer system, which goes under a transcript, which can affect the future."
I cannot stand it when professors say that a low test grade isn't the end of the world but to me, it can be. Too many and it can be the end of a hopeful future. Sometimes I wish I can point out to the professor that it's not the end of the world because it's not your world anymore.
I talked briefly to Jason trying to put my finger on what exactly I was feeling. He offered the word, "jaded." Bulls-eye. I am jaded.
Sometimes I wish I can cry and purge every emotion, good or bad, out. Instead, I tell myself to suck it up. I remind myself that I'm 21 and should be able to take care of myself.
So life is hard. Who knew?
Round 1 @ Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Bleargh!
...just about sums up how I feel about this week.
Maybe I'll study in the BSB today to stave off some pre-exam loneliness. :/
...just about sums up how I feel about this week.
Maybe I'll study in the BSB today to stave off some pre-exam loneliness. :/
We're "friends" @ Wednesday, January 27, 2010
I've been lying in bed for hours and I still can't fall asleep. So what the hell, I'll update this thing.
I was telling Jason today that I used Twitter as an outlet that's much more private than Facebook.
"But doesn't that defeat the purpose?"
No, that is the purpose.
But I realize I am slowly accumulating more BU people who follow my profile. So maybe I'll update this more since not many know about this blog.
Anyways...
While I was driving back home today, I got a text message from the first person I met at Baylor. Even though the guy is nice, I began to notice today that he always only texts me when he needs something for the past 3 years ("Do you know of any office supply stores in Waco?"). Is this really a friendship? I think not. I consider it at an acquaintance level. A little irritated after the realization, I didn't respond.
But no. It's not over. It spurred a lot more thoughts. I log into Facebook and got a lovely wall of text from my best friend in my private message inbox.
My best friend and I don't really have a typical friendship. I've only hugged her once in December in the 9 years I have known her. Since she moved to Pennsylvania in 10th grade and pursued art school in Seattle, it's not the same as before the move. But we try.
After reading the huge personal message concerning her legal issues, friendship issues, and relationship issues it hit me that maybe even my best friend is using me on some level also. The more she had troubles, the more she would disclose more with me. We've never been the type to do this so it was odd at first. I thought further back in time and found it to be true.
She comes to El Paso for a weekend and...
She has no room and board. So I get a surprise call.
Then she has no ride. So I drive.
Then she had luggage issues. So I wait with her to help sort it out.
Then she brings cats. I let them stay in my room.
She needs a swimsuit. I take her to the mall.
She hasn't eaten. I set out dinner.
Then her mom wants her to stay with her grandma on the other side of town. I drive her 30 minutes over.
She gets lost in Seattle and calls me. I use Google maps to tell her directions.
She constantly barrages my Facebook chat lately to talk to me.
She asks incessantly about the process of pursuing med school.
She won't stop bugging me. I can't study anymore if I leave Facebook on.
She talks to me much, much more when she needs something.
So it's true but do I care? Nope. She actually tries to be close with me, more so lately. Therefore, I'm always willing to help her out. No doubt that she would be too.
So if my best friend had asked me for office supplies, I would Google it in an instant and respond.
I was telling Jason today that I used Twitter as an outlet that's much more private than Facebook.
"But doesn't that defeat the purpose?"
No, that is the purpose.
But I realize I am slowly accumulating more BU people who follow my profile. So maybe I'll update this more since not many know about this blog.
Anyways...
While I was driving back home today, I got a text message from the first person I met at Baylor. Even though the guy is nice, I began to notice today that he always only texts me when he needs something for the past 3 years ("Do you know of any office supply stores in Waco?"). Is this really a friendship? I think not. I consider it at an acquaintance level. A little irritated after the realization, I didn't respond.
But no. It's not over. It spurred a lot more thoughts. I log into Facebook and got a lovely wall of text from my best friend in my private message inbox.
My best friend and I don't really have a typical friendship. I've only hugged her once in December in the 9 years I have known her. Since she moved to Pennsylvania in 10th grade and pursued art school in Seattle, it's not the same as before the move. But we try.
After reading the huge personal message concerning her legal issues, friendship issues, and relationship issues it hit me that maybe even my best friend is using me on some level also. The more she had troubles, the more she would disclose more with me. We've never been the type to do this so it was odd at first. I thought further back in time and found it to be true.
She comes to El Paso for a weekend and...
She has no room and board. So I get a surprise call.
Then she has no ride. So I drive.
Then she had luggage issues. So I wait with her to help sort it out.
Then she brings cats. I let them stay in my room.
She needs a swimsuit. I take her to the mall.
She hasn't eaten. I set out dinner.
Then her mom wants her to stay with her grandma on the other side of town. I drive her 30 minutes over.
She gets lost in Seattle and calls me. I use Google maps to tell her directions.
She constantly barrages my Facebook chat lately to talk to me.
She asks incessantly about the process of pursuing med school.
She won't stop bugging me. I can't study anymore if I leave Facebook on.
She talks to me much, much more when she needs something.
So it's true but do I care? Nope. She actually tries to be close with me, more so lately. Therefore, I'm always willing to help her out. No doubt that she would be too.
So if my best friend had asked me for office supplies, I would Google it in an instant and respond.
Labels: deep thoughts
2010 @ Wednesday, January 20, 2010
Finally an update...20 days into January. Oops?
I spent an entire day of winter break researching grad schools. And I am so not going for PhD. Definitely DDS all the way. That means I need to start studying for DAT real soon. Fuck. And I don't even want to think about applying.
I'm also thinking of signing up for 19 hours. I need to go get the paperwork done for that. Thank God the extra 3 hours are a supposedly ridiculously easy class though.
I haven't even thought about student performers for Chinese New Year. I am really hoping Social Chair and EVP are pulling through on it. Keeping in contact with 2 performers is chaotic enough. Hmm...
Did ASA get screwed by a certain group? I think we did. I should have listened to Jason's warning last semester. :/
I'll be happy enough if I made Dean's List this semester. Why does Spring semester always suck?
I spent an entire day of winter break researching grad schools. And I am so not going for PhD. Definitely DDS all the way. That means I need to start studying for DAT real soon. Fuck. And I don't even want to think about applying.
I'm also thinking of signing up for 19 hours. I need to go get the paperwork done for that. Thank God the extra 3 hours are a supposedly ridiculously easy class though.
I haven't even thought about student performers for Chinese New Year. I am really hoping Social Chair and EVP are pulling through on it. Keeping in contact with 2 performers is chaotic enough. Hmm...
Did ASA get screwed by a certain group? I think we did. I should have listened to Jason's warning last semester. :/
I'll be happy enough if I made Dean's List this semester. Why does Spring semester always suck?
Labels: life in a nutshell
Blackheads/Zits - Dermabrasion Method @ Sunday, December 20, 2009
Besides vitamins and exfoliants, I used eggs in treating my zit too.
This one is all about eggs.
Dermabrasion
When you crack open an egg, there is that thin membranous layer that you can peel off from the shell. For the chick in development, this layer aids in flushing out the impurities of the whites and yolk especially. The same concept will help for the human face.
1. Crack a large egg and dump the yolk and white into a bowl.
3. Peel away the layers and apply on your pimple and/or face.
4. If you're concentrating on just a pimple, layer each peel on top of each other.
5. Let it sit for ~5-10 minutes.
6. Gently peel away or wash it off.
Because this is considered a dermabrasion, your skin is more sensitive to UV rays and dryness.
Be sure to moisturize with an SPF. SPF 30 or more is best.
Don't do this everyday. Once a week is good enough.
Facial Mask
1. Crack a large egg
2. Separate the white and the yolk into two separate bowls.
3. Wash your hands.
4. Dab your fingers into the whites and apply an even coat on face. You don't have to use all of it.
5. Let it dry. It will be ready when it's hard to smile.
6. Wash off.
7. Apply the yolk on.
8. Dry and try to smile again. If you can't, it's hardened and ready.
9. Wash off.
10. Wrap up or eat your leftover eggs. If you wrap it up, don't refrigerate it for more than 4 days.
Don't do this everyday. Once a week will do.
The best thing about the yolk is that it is rich in antioxidants to neutralize pesky free radicals and aid in repairing skin from sun damage.
The only con is that eggs do not have anti-aging properties so you'll need to look elsewhere for that.
I personally did the egg mask and it makes your face feel very soft. I didn't like that it made my forehead really shiny and was glad that I did it at home at the end of the day. But it felt very clean.
This one is all about eggs.
Dermabrasion
When you crack open an egg, there is that thin membranous layer that you can peel off from the shell. For the chick in development, this layer aids in flushing out the impurities of the whites and yolk especially. The same concept will help for the human face.
1. Crack a large egg and dump the yolk and white into a bowl.
3. Peel away the layers and apply on your pimple and/or face.
4. If you're concentrating on just a pimple, layer each peel on top of each other.
5. Let it sit for ~5-10 minutes.
6. Gently peel away or wash it off.
Because this is considered a dermabrasion, your skin is more sensitive to UV rays and dryness.
Be sure to moisturize with an SPF. SPF 30 or more is best.
Don't do this everyday. Once a week is good enough.
Facial Mask
1. Crack a large egg
2. Separate the white and the yolk into two separate bowls.
3. Wash your hands.
4. Dab your fingers into the whites and apply an even coat on face. You don't have to use all of it.
5. Let it dry. It will be ready when it's hard to smile.
6. Wash off.
7. Apply the yolk on.
8. Dry and try to smile again. If you can't, it's hardened and ready.
9. Wash off.
10. Wrap up or eat your leftover eggs. If you wrap it up, don't refrigerate it for more than 4 days.
Don't do this everyday. Once a week will do.
The best thing about the yolk is that it is rich in antioxidants to neutralize pesky free radicals and aid in repairing skin from sun damage.
The only con is that eggs do not have anti-aging properties so you'll need to look elsewhere for that.
I personally did the egg mask and it makes your face feel very soft. I didn't like that it made my forehead really shiny and was glad that I did it at home at the end of the day. But it felt very clean.
Blackheads/Zits - Exfoliant and Vitamin Approach @
Three days before my best friend was set to fly in (pictures galore!), I got a lovely giant whitehead that looked something like 
After some research, I used my own regimen to eliminate it in two days. The result:
. It's difficult to see in pictures and in person. Apparently, this also worked on my blackheads (not my intent!).
Normally, close up they look like small black freckles. But these were even smaller and very translucent. It was really hard to even see them up close. Those blackhead strips I see at drugstores are too expensive so I'll definitely use this.
Oh, and another shot of the pimple is in the lower right corner.
For the pimple, I exfoliated, cleansed, and used a "topical" drug in that order.
For the blackheads, I exfoliated and cleansed only (but you can use the "topical" too) in that order.
I didn't have an exfoliant so I used ground coffee. It doesn't have to be brewed; just make sure it's not beans. And no instant coffee (the water dissolves it). Even a little will last a long time. Mechanics are also known to wash motor oil off their hands with coffee (thus coffee neutralizes oils really well!).
You need: a cup, tablespoon or spoon, honey, and ground coffee
The first time around, I used olive oil instead of honey. Even though it's good for your skin, I don't recommend it. It was difficult to wash it off.
The second time, I still didn't have honey so I used those Asian orange citrus honey tea mixes, seen above. It's gooey and still works. I used very little because I saw that it had sugar. I am paranoid about sugar possibly feeding bacteria.
If you don't have coffee, you can also use kosher salt or sugar. These are more harsh than coffee so be more gentle with them.
1. Take about one tablespoon (I used the tablespoon they give you) into your cup.
2. Mix a little bit of honey. Not too much. The honey is just a medium for the coffee to stick to.
3. Stir.
4. Wash your hands so you don't further contaminate your face.
5. Get some onto your fingers and scrub in a circular motion. Don't scrub too hard. It will overdry your face (making minor rashes and redness) if you do.
6. Wash off.
Next, I used a facial cleanser (Clearasil). I dabbed a small mound onto my pimples and nasal blackheads then applied to the rest of my face. Then I let it set for a minute. If facial cleansers don't work for you, just do whatever works. My skin just needs facial cleansers. Others might not.
For the "topical" drug, I didn't have salicylic acid unfortunately (commonly in aspirin) so I improvised with Amoxicillin instead.
Upon researching more about the drug, I found that it inhibited cell wall synthesis in bacteria and thus acts as an antibiotic so it will still work.
Do not use ibuprofen and Bayer.
Neither have salicylic acid and ibuprofen can actually be an irritant to your skin.
1. Dispense some onto a dish.
2. Use a Q-tip to dab it onto the area of interest. Don't use it all. That's overkill. I did it just enough to see a white spot from afar.
3. It's optional but I also put a small Band-Aid over the spot. This prevents me from accidentally touching the area and contaminating it more!
Another habit I practiced was sleeping on my back, keeping facial contact away from your dirty pillow. The average pillow is so filthy that it must be washed every two days to clean all the oils it accumulates.
Lastly...VITAMINS!!!
If your family is a vitamin junkie (like most Asian families), take advantage!!
After every meal, I used:
These are REALLY good for your skin. Especially B-complex and Omega-3!!!
Vitamin A shrinks your pores (retinol is the best and purest form of A). Vitamin B helps to repair the skin. And fish oil...it seems like omega-3 can't not do anything. Really.
I took Niacin and the GNC one just for the hell of it. Niacin is still a form of Vitamin B but sure, why not?
Just don't ingest too much of Vitamin D, Vitamin A, Vitamin K, and Vitamin E especially on a multivitamin. These are the fat-soluble and are toxic to your body at high levels, hence why I didn't use one.
The most important thing is sleep. Sleep is the best medicine for acne. Your body needs sleep to repair everything your poor skin has gone through.
I know this was a long post, but this is seriously everything I did and it worked for me. It went away in two days for me and it was inexpensive. :)
After some research, I used my own regimen to eliminate it in two days. The result:
. It's difficult to see in pictures and in person. Apparently, this also worked on my blackheads (not my intent!).Normally, close up they look like small black freckles. But these were even smaller and very translucent. It was really hard to even see them up close. Those blackhead strips I see at drugstores are too expensive so I'll definitely use this.
Oh, and another shot of the pimple is in the lower right corner.
For the pimple, I exfoliated, cleansed, and used a "topical" drug in that order.
For the blackheads, I exfoliated and cleansed only (but you can use the "topical" too) in that order.
I didn't have an exfoliant so I used ground coffee. It doesn't have to be brewed; just make sure it's not beans. And no instant coffee (the water dissolves it). Even a little will last a long time. Mechanics are also known to wash motor oil off their hands with coffee (thus coffee neutralizes oils really well!).
You need: a cup, tablespoon or spoon, honey, and ground coffee
The first time around, I used olive oil instead of honey. Even though it's good for your skin, I don't recommend it. It was difficult to wash it off.
The second time, I still didn't have honey so I used those Asian orange citrus honey tea mixes, seen above. It's gooey and still works. I used very little because I saw that it had sugar. I am paranoid about sugar possibly feeding bacteria.
If you don't have coffee, you can also use kosher salt or sugar. These are more harsh than coffee so be more gentle with them.
1. Take about one tablespoon (I used the tablespoon they give you) into your cup.
2. Mix a little bit of honey. Not too much. The honey is just a medium for the coffee to stick to.
3. Stir.
4. Wash your hands so you don't further contaminate your face.
5. Get some onto your fingers and scrub in a circular motion. Don't scrub too hard. It will overdry your face (making minor rashes and redness) if you do.
6. Wash off.
Next, I used a facial cleanser (Clearasil). I dabbed a small mound onto my pimples and nasal blackheads then applied to the rest of my face. Then I let it set for a minute. If facial cleansers don't work for you, just do whatever works. My skin just needs facial cleansers. Others might not.
For the "topical" drug, I didn't have salicylic acid unfortunately (commonly in aspirin) so I improvised with Amoxicillin instead.
Upon researching more about the drug, I found that it inhibited cell wall synthesis in bacteria and thus acts as an antibiotic so it will still work.
Do not use ibuprofen and Bayer.
Neither have salicylic acid and ibuprofen can actually be an irritant to your skin.
1. Dispense some onto a dish.
2. Use a Q-tip to dab it onto the area of interest. Don't use it all. That's overkill. I did it just enough to see a white spot from afar.
3. It's optional but I also put a small Band-Aid over the spot. This prevents me from accidentally touching the area and contaminating it more!
Another habit I practiced was sleeping on my back, keeping facial contact away from your dirty pillow. The average pillow is so filthy that it must be washed every two days to clean all the oils it accumulates.
Lastly...VITAMINS!!!
If your family is a vitamin junkie (like most Asian families), take advantage!!
After every meal, I used:
These are REALLY good for your skin. Especially B-complex and Omega-3!!!
Vitamin A shrinks your pores (retinol is the best and purest form of A). Vitamin B helps to repair the skin. And fish oil...it seems like omega-3 can't not do anything. Really.
I took Niacin and the GNC one just for the hell of it. Niacin is still a form of Vitamin B but sure, why not?
Just don't ingest too much of Vitamin D, Vitamin A, Vitamin K, and Vitamin E especially on a multivitamin. These are the fat-soluble and are toxic to your body at high levels, hence why I didn't use one.
The most important thing is sleep. Sleep is the best medicine for acne. Your body needs sleep to repair everything your poor skin has gone through.
I know this was a long post, but this is seriously everything I did and it worked for me. It went away in two days for me and it was inexpensive. :)