Oh my. I suddenly started to miss this place. I feel the need to retreat to Blogger again for more private entries, as opposed to Tumblr (where I mostly just share interesting tidbits). I'm also often too tired to write in my personal journal by the end of the day (more on that later).
The semester overall has been good to me. It had its ups and downs though. I went through numerous breaks with JW. I felt stupid for scoring B+'s to A-'s on my physics tests and only managing an 89.4 in the lab. I felt angry for scoring a C on one of the exams and had to do really well on the last exam and the final exam. I felt relieved that, against all odds, I did and got an A. I felt like a wreck for having developed a small dependency on Adderall the last half of the semester and for finals. I felt helpless because however much I tried to help my brother, nothing was working. I felt everything come off my shoulders when the final grades rolled in and I saw everything I worked for.
So it's summer vacation 2010. I've been studying for the DAT, which I take July 15 at 8:30 AM. I read roughly 3 chapters per subject per day per book, totaling ~15 to 18 chapters in one sitting. I don't want to sound like I'm complaining, but it's tiring just to read and it takes ~8 - 12 hours a day! I feel like a complete shut-in because I've only left my room three times all summer. I go for days without uttering a single word and it feels so alien when I actually do talk.
I also feel like I'm retaining nothing from General Chem. It's frustrating because I knew the material well when I took the course and now I can't do it anymore. It's like, I've lost my G-Chem mojo.
I'm also nervous because I have yet to take diagnostics since I'm just reading to highlight what's important. I haven't mastered anything yet.
Even though I tell myself to take it one day at a time, I can't keep taking it one day at a time forever (I only have 43 days left!). I feel like I'm really racing against time now.